Talkin' Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

Well, I saw it advertised one day That the Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way "Come along and take a trip, we'll bring you up there on a ship Bring the wife and family, bring the whole kids", yippee Well, I run right down and bought a ticket To this thing called the Bear Mountain Picnic Little did I realize, I was in for a pleasant, funny surprise It had nothin' to do with picnics Didn't come close to a mountain, I hate bears Took the wife and kids down to the pier There were 6000 people there Everybody had a ticket for the trip "Oh well", I said, "It's a pretty big ship" Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier Well, we all got on and what do you think That big old boat started to sink More people kept a-pilin' on That old ship was a-goin' down Funny way to start a picnic Well, I soon lost track of my kids and wife So many people I never saw in my life That old ship was sinkin' down in the water There were 6000 people tryin' to kill each other Dogs a-barking, cats a-screaming Women a-yelling, men a-flying, fists a-flying, paper flying Cops a-coming, me running Maybe we just better call off the picnic I got shoved down, got pushed around All I remember was a moanin' sound Don't remember one thing more All I remember's walkin' up on a shore My arms and legs were broken My feet was splintered, my head was cracked I couldn't walk, couldn't talk, smell, feel Couldn't see, I didn't know where I was I was bald, quite lucky to be alive though Well, feelin' like I just climbed outta my casket I grabbed back hold of my picnic basket Took the wife and kids and started home Wishin' I'd never got up that morning Now, I don't care just what you do If you wanna have a picnic, that's up to you But don't tell me about it, I don't wanna hear it 'Cause see, I just lost all my picnic spirit Stay in my kitchen, have picnics I have picnic in my bathroom Well, it don't seem to me quite so funny What some people are gonna do for money There's a brand new gimmick every day Just to take somebody's money away I think we oughta take some of these people Put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain for a picnic